Sunday, February 24, 2008
Let Me Feel You Once Again
I hate to admit it, but I am currently dry spiritually.
Why do I hate to admit it? Maybe it is because of my pride. I always like to convey the image that everything in my life is A-OK. If I have to admit that something negative is going on in my life, I somehow feel like a failure.
If this makes people think that I am very insecure, so be it. It is how it is.
The good thing is that God was gracious enough to make me finally realize that I am spiritually dry. Actually, this has been going on for a while. I just either did not realize or just did not want to admit it. Maybe the later would be more accurate. I have noticed that I become short-tempered lately. I am just easily annoyed nowadays. I also worry a lot. I am worried about my work, about my new business ventures, about my family, about my future, about whether or not we will have children…. (ouch, the last one is a big one)
I hope with this realization, somehow I can turn back to you my Lord, my Lover and my God. I love you Jesus. I need you more than anything in my life. I am sorry if I chose to walk through my life alone lately. I have learned my lesson. Never before I felt this lonely. Yes, I have people around me, but I am spiritually lonely. It hurts… it really really hurts to realize this…. I know you will never leave me, but let me just say it… please don’t leave me like this. Let me feel you once again
Why do I hate to admit it? Maybe it is because of my pride. I always like to convey the image that everything in my life is A-OK. If I have to admit that something negative is going on in my life, I somehow feel like a failure.
If this makes people think that I am very insecure, so be it. It is how it is.
The good thing is that God was gracious enough to make me finally realize that I am spiritually dry. Actually, this has been going on for a while. I just either did not realize or just did not want to admit it. Maybe the later would be more accurate. I have noticed that I become short-tempered lately. I am just easily annoyed nowadays. I also worry a lot. I am worried about my work, about my new business ventures, about my family, about my future, about whether or not we will have children…. (ouch, the last one is a big one)
I hope with this realization, somehow I can turn back to you my Lord, my Lover and my God. I love you Jesus. I need you more than anything in my life. I am sorry if I chose to walk through my life alone lately. I have learned my lesson. Never before I felt this lonely. Yes, I have people around me, but I am spiritually lonely. It hurts… it really really hurts to realize this…. I know you will never leave me, but let me just say it… please don’t leave me like this. Let me feel you once again
# posted by indra : 3:42 AM
